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PEOPLE WITH HEART PROBLEM PLEASE DON'T SEE OR READ



THIS WAS HOW IT BEGEN...... The sad image that I have about six legs......

Sleeping soundless through the starless night...... In my Dream of my night there was something happening in the real world the world of reality where is unfair and nothing is a happy ending.......
Back then I wasn't afaid of insects it was just an small junk that go around at night when everyone was sleeping in our fantasy world, everytime I see one insect I kill one everytime it runs after a slap on the paper i will tear it into small crumbles or I will burn it. I knew it was mean but they are pest so we need to have some 'payback', so that was the only way to keep them away. To me when I was young it is as if it was my destiny to kill them.
Retribution then came. I remember cleary that day 23/05/02 it was the day of my fear, the day of their revenge. This might sound unreal but is true enough I was in my fantasy but in the reality, there was one roach came crawling aroung me without noticing that the roach crawling to my mouth, I started to crew it because in my dream I was eating cotton candy, immediately I woke up to my fears and I have a dead roach in my mouth a dead and crush roach. Once I found out I wash my mouth with mouth wash and bursh my teeth with detergent, but that wasn't enough to kill the taste. You my think my hate for them has gone one step further then you were wrong my friend, I had phobia of insect not every single but only roaches and grasshoppers.
I knew it was retribution but that has last a dreathful scar in my heart forever. Then I thought I would not see them again but they came even more often. Seeing one roach is as good as its talking to me "I'm coming in to your mouth...." As it move forward it was a bad day to remember cause there was lots of flashbacks like flashlight zooming pass the close up of the roach coming nearer and nearer and time was getting slower and slower those were the type of feeling that really crepts you out.
My life saver then came in my brother, he handed me a rolled up newspaper and ask me to whack it as hard as possible so I could get back that kind of hate towards the roach. As I swing down towards the roach I felt both fear and hate clashing together to gain the title of the king. It was an slow process but I knew my hit was soft and once I tried again whacking the roach and the same feeling came back the feelings of the hate that I once had and I knew the hate was back and the fear was goodbye using all my might I whack it again and it was a victory for me and I had kill the roach and my phobia was gone.........